I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
