I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
