dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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