She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
