your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
