somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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