She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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