i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize