I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I wish there were birth control emojis
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
