I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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