I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
