READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
