Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm at about main and main street
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
