When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
