problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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