Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
