I'm going to rape someone's good day.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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