I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
