We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
