and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
