so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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