If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
