I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
