Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
