I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
