She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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