When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
