He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
