i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize