i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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