he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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