I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
