You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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