Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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