dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
high people should be assigned attendants
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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