If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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