My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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