Barsexuality is the new black.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
