she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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