I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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