Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize