NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
