i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
