Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
