You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
