I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
