how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize