he wants to bone in the snuggie
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
