we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
