I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize