whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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