They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize