I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
