No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
