my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
