they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
