people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
