So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
