I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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