Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
