Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
