never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
