I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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