Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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