So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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