is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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