Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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