Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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