Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
