I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
