so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
